The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
