I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
