Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize