i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
