THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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