i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
