Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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