Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
