We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
