I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
