It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
