No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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