so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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