Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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