The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
