it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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