you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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