hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
