I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
