So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You need a sexual gate keeper
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
