Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
