Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
