Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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