There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize