She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
