and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"