Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
