Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know