he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades