He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
