Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
