Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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