____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
