I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
