who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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