I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
that is very illegal...i love you.
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