I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
