hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
