finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize