It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
