Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
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I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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