so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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