i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
