You can't motorboat a personality
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
