that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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