My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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