its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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