i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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