All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
