Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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