Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
