Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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