the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
