Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
