yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
