Yo dont text me then not text me
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
