i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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