Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
