How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Randomize
