I showed him my bush... on skype.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
