i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize