Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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